What Is a MIAM and Do You Have to Attend One?

What is a MIAM is one of the first questions many women ask when a solicitor or a court form mentions it out of nowhere, and the answer is far less intimidating than the acronym suggests. A MIAM is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, a private appointment with a trained family mediator who explains how you could sort out arrangements for your children or your finances without a courtroom. It is an information meeting, not a negotiation, and nobody will ask you to agree to anything on the day.

It helps to see where this sits in the wider picture, so if you are still working out the shape of the whole process, our guide to divorce in the UK sets out each stage from application to final order.

What is a MIAM, in plain English?

A MIAM is a meeting between you and an authorised family mediator. The mediator is neutral. They do not represent you, they do not represent your ex, and they will not tell you what your settlement should look like. Their job is to explain the routes available to you and to work out, with you, whether mediation could realistically help in your situation.

You attend alone. Your ex-partner will be invited to their own separate appointment, and the two of you do not need to be in the same room or even at the same mediation service. That surprises a lot of women who assume a MIAM means sitting opposite someone they would rather not see.

What is a MIAM for, and why does the court ask for one?

Section 10 of the Children and Families Act 2014 introduced the requirement. Parliament wanted families to hear about the alternatives to litigation before a judge ever sees the case, because court is slower, more expensive and harder on everyone involved, particularly children.

So the MIAM exists for two reasons. First, information: you leave knowing what mediation, solicitor negotiation and court would each mean for you in practical terms. Second, assessment: the mediator checks whether mediation is safe and suitable, including a confidential screening conversation about abuse and power imbalance. If it is not safe, the mediator will say so and can sign you off as exempt.

What actually happens at a MIAM appointment

Knowing what is a MIAM in theory is one thing. Here is what the hour itself looks like. Most MIAMs run for around 45 minutes to an hour, in person, by phone or over video. There is no formality to it. You will be asked to describe your situation in your own words, and then the mediator takes you through the practical detail.

• Your circumstances: who is involved, what needs deciding, whether it is children, money or both.
• Safety screening: a private, confidential conversation about any abuse, control or intimidation, past or present.
• Your options: mediation, solicitor negotiation, arbitration, or applying to court, with realistic timescales and costs for each.
• Funding: whether you might qualify for legal aid for mediation or the government mediation voucher.
• Next steps: whether you want to try mediation, and if not, signing your court form.

You are not asked to make a decision in the room. Plenty of women go away, think it over for a week and come back with questions. That is normal and expected.

Do you have to attend a MIAM?

In most cases, yes, if you are the one applying to court. You need to have attended a MIAM before you can make an application about:

• Child arrangements and other orders about children, made on form C100 (court fee £270 as of July 2026)
• Financial orders in divorce, where the application is contested, made on Form A (court fee £321 as of July 2026)

The mediator completes and signs the relevant section of your form to confirm you attended, or that you qualify for an exemption. Without that signature, the court will usually send your application back. A consent order, where the two of you have already agreed everything and simply want it approved, is different and does not need a MIAM. Our guide to what a divorce actually costs breaks down the fees at each stage.

When you do not have to attend a MIAM

Part of the answer to what is a MIAM requirement is knowing when it does not apply to you at all, and they exist precisely because the requirement should never put anyone at risk. The most commonly used include:

If there has been abuse in your relationship, including coercive control or economic abuse, please tell the mediator or your solicitor. You do not have to sit in a meeting about compromise with someone who has frightened you, and the system does not expect you to. Support lines are listed at the end of this article.

What if your ex will not come?

Only the person applying to court is legally required to attend. What is a MIAM obligation for you is not an obligation for them. Your ex will be invited, and they can decline. That does not block you. Once you have attended, your form gets signed and you can proceed.

What has changed is the court’s attitude to a flat refusal. Judges are now able to take a party’s unreasonable refusal to consider non-court options into account when deciding who pays the costs of proceedings. It is no longer a consequence-free choice, which is worth knowing if you are the one being told mediation is a waste of time.

What is a MIAM likely to cost, and what help is there?

What is a MIAM going to cost you is the question most women ask next. A MIAM is normally a paid appointment, and prices vary between services, so ask what the fee covers when you book. There are two separate forms of help, and they work quite differently.

Legal aid for family mediation is means-tested only. Financial eligibility is the whole test. If you meet the income, savings and capital rules, your MIAM and your mediation sessions are free to you, whether or not there has been abuse. You can check the rules on GOV.UK legal aid for family mediation. Legal aid for a solicitor is a completely separate scheme with a different test, so do not assume that being turned down for one means you cannot have the other.

The family mediation voucher scheme is a one-off government contribution of up to £500 per family towards mediation sessions. It is not means-tested, but it only applies where there is a dispute about child arrangements, and it does not cover the MIAM itself. Details are on the Family Mediation Council website.

What happens after your MIAM

Three doors are open to you. You can start mediation, usually with a first joint session arranged within a couple of weeks. You can take your signed form and apply to court. Or you can pause, take legal advice on where you stand, and decide later. Nothing you say at the MIAM commits you to anything.

Many women find it useful to get one clear piece of legal advice first, so they know roughly what a fair outcome looks like before they sit down to discuss it. Knowing your position is what makes mediation work in your favour rather than against it.

Frequently asked questions

What is a MIAM and how long does it take?

A MIAM is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting with a qualified family mediator, and it usually lasts 45 to 60 minutes. You attend on your own, in person, by video or by phone, and the mediator explains your options and checks whether mediation is safe and suitable for you.

What is a MIAM certificate?

It is the mediator’s signed confirmation on your court form that you attended a MIAM, or that you are exempt from attending. The court will not usually accept a C100 or Form A application without it, and it is generally treated as valid for four months from the date of your meeting.

Is a MIAM the same as mediation?

No. A MIAM is the information and assessment appointment that comes first, and you attend it alone. Mediation is the process that may follow, with joint sessions where you and your ex work through arrangements with the mediator’s help. Attending a MIAM does not oblige you to start mediation.

Can I skip the MIAM if there has been domestic abuse?

Yes. Domestic abuse is a recognised exemption where you can provide accepted evidence, such as a protective order, a police report, or a letter from a GP, refuge or domestic abuse organisation. Tell the mediator or your solicitor about the abuse and they will confirm the exemption on your court form.

Do both of us have to attend a MIAM?

Only the person applying to court must attend. Your ex will be invited to a separate appointment and can refuse, which does not stop your application going ahead. However, a court can now take an unreasonable refusal to consider mediation into account when deciding who pays the costs.

Do I need a MIAM for a consent order?

No. If you and your ex have already reached agreement and are asking the court to approve it by consent, no MIAM is required. The consent order court fee is £62 as of July 2026.

Related guides

A MIAM is one hour of your life, and it is an hour spent finding out what your choices really are. Whatever you decide afterwards, you will be making that decision with far more information than you have today, and that is a good place to be standing.